Perhaps the saying, “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder” is an understatement.

So, for some, attraction is important in a relationship, yes? That may not be the case for Nigerian speaker and life coach, Solomon Buchi.

According to Blavity, Black Twitter went off after he made some side-eyeing comments in a tribute to his fiancee, Adeola Arike. Facebook also had a field day in the comments, too.

During his decorative expression of love for Arike, his choice of words was not well received by his followers. Honestly, we agreed with some of the responses.

On July 25, Buchi captioned his picture with Arike saying,

“You’re not the most beautiful woman; neither are you the most intelligent woman, but I’ve chosen to never find perfection in anyone else,” he wrote. “Neither are you the most intelligent woman, but I’ve chosen to never find perfection in anyone else. I put my gaze on you, and with that commitment, we would mold ourselves for ourselves. Our perfection is in our commitment.

He added,

“Stating that you’re not the most beautiful/intelligent might sound like it’s not a compliment, yeah? But it’s a realistic base for real love. Acknowledging that my woman isn’t the best, [but] I’m not looking for the best. I was looking for you and I found you.”

And then there’s this,

“There’s no best, there is just someone you choose and see the best in them,” Buchi continued.

The celebrated speaker also said,

“My love for you isn’t about you being the best, it’s about you being you. There’s just no other you.”


Here’s what some of the commentators on Facebook said in response to Buchi’s “interesting” post,

“Your woman should be the most beautiful person in your eyes despite her flaws and imperfections. Your write-up shows you’re just managing or settling for her until you find your ‘most beautiful, most intelligent, most endowed woman.'”

Another user said,

“This is rude, humiliating and completely unnecessary to publicly state,” another post read. “You don’t sound deep or intellectual. You sound like a man who should be alone. This woman is gorgeous and I hope she finds somebody who will tell her so.”

Check out some of the comments from Black Twitter. They clearly didn’t see the “good” in this tribute:

In a Reddit group posting, a woman admitted to hearing that her husband didn’t find her attractive, Newsweek reports.

With more than 13,800 upvotes and 2,500, the unidentified woman said, “My husband admitted to his friends that he didn’t find me beautiful. Nothing feels the same anymore.”

The user went into detail saying,

“Nothing feels the same anymore. I always knew I wasn’t beautiful but I thought that he liked how I looked, or at least, didn’t mind it so much. I know he values my other qualities and that he loves me and is very kind to me but I don’t feel good with him and I haven’t been happy since that day [5 weeks prior].”

However, after the husband’s friend asked if he had lowered his standards from his prior relationships, he replied,

“‘Maybe, but she [me]makes me happy.”

The wife admitted that she was on a weight-loss journey and hated any encouraging or positive compliment her husband gave to her. She no longer felt “appealing” to her spouse.

It’s never too late to learn, or so we’re told. Empower yourself! You won’t always get from the world. Alexa, play Donnie McClurkin’s “We Fall Down” because we surely are about to get up.

Emil Flemmon

Èmil Flemmon is the Managing Editor for the 360 Baseline Movement. The Atlanta-based editor, red carpet interviewer, writer, and photographer, has had a career spanning over a decade in the editorial industry. His work has been featured in Kontrol Magazine, The Atlanta Voice, Blavity, Aspire TV, REVOLT, The Jasmine Brand, and Where Y'at Magazine in New Orleans. His mission is to help journalists and publicists have better connectivity and relationships exclusively through the movement.

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